Disney Princesses Challenge, aka I Hate Disney Part 7: Belle

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Beauty and the Beast (1991) is a slight improvement on the usual princess mold. Belle is a bookworm, and isn’t doing the endless chores that the earlier princesses love so much, although she’s still all over the animals. And the inanimate objects are positively adorable – if you don’t love Chip and the Angela Lansbury-voiced Mrs Potts, you don’t have a heart! But naturally, I still have gripes…

“I’m the smartest Disney princess, and I think sheep want to hear about where to find Prince Charming.”

“Romantic love is the best kind of love!” – Disney’s still enamoured of romance – the spoilt prince has no love in his heart and is generally a dick to everyone, but in true Disney style, the way to solve this is to get him to fall in love with a girl and have her fall in love with him back. How many dickheads do you know in real life who have had partners they love and inexplicably love them back? Chances are, most of them. Being an uncompassionate dick is no bar to being capable of romantic love.

(Not to mention that the servants have been trapped for 10 years, but the Beast is only 21 – that means the prince was 11 when he and his household were cursed. Punishing a (seemingly orphaned) 11 year old boy (and his legions of servants) for being a thoughtless douchebag seems a bit harsh!)

Also, a gentle introduction to bestiality for every child!

“Landing a man is the best adventure!” – Belle wants out of her provincial life because she wants adventure… but she’s seemingly over the moon to be trapped with the Beast in his pimping castle once he’s all soft and mushy. Adventuring = being gifted a hugeass library by a formerly grumpy guy?

“I volunteered to stay a prisoner here forever, and I’ve been given a fancy bedroom and had a billion-course French dinner, but I’m still going to stride into the one place I’m not meant to go this very night!”

But the thing that pisses me off the most – the moral of the story seems to be:

“If you’re willing to look past appearances… you’ll be rewarded with a better looking version.”

Yep. Great way to completely invalidate the decent message you were sending to impressionable kids. But I guess we can’t expect too much from a Disney movie with the word “Beauty” in the title…

For my nail art design this week, I chose to freehand a stained glass rose. I used Alanna Renee Chocolate Frog (from the highly covetable Harry Potter collection) for the other nails, since it contains the three theme colours I was originally going to use: blue, gold and brown.

Next week grumpy Michelle will be back with the final episode of Disney-hatin’ – Ariel the Little Mermaid!

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22 thoughts on “Disney Princesses Challenge, aka I Hate Disney Part 7: Belle”

  1. also i dont think an 11 year old should be letting strangers in his house…and where are is parents? and HOW in the HELL did chip come about? hes like 6 when he turns back into a human…so mrs potts must have done the deed while she was a tea kettle. so maybe they all got frozen at whatever age they were when they got cursed? idk, though i do LOVE this movie, it has some of the best songs. and i always thought beast was way better looking as a beast then as a human-not of fan of that crazy 80’s hair! your rose nail is PERFECTION!! seriously, it looks exactly like it did in the beginning of the movie!

    Reply
    • Maybe, but then why does he still have til his 21st birthday? Unless everyone else’s ages are frozen except the prince’s? Gah! Full of plot holes. I don’t even want to know how tea kettles reproduce!!

      I agree on the ugly prince – he’s a bit too Fabio for my liking too! Even Gaston is better looking.

      And thanks! 🙂

      Reply
  2. I think for some reason I thought the whole castle just stopped aging or something, once the curse was placed on them. Or at least, that’s my theory now because I never realised the 21 year old/11 year old boy thing until you mentioned it now.

    …Tale as Old as Time is still one of my favourite Disney songs though.

    Reply
    • That would make more sense, except that he still has a 21st birthday… sew up those plotholes, Disney!

      I do love the songs – I’m especially impressed that they worked the word “expectorating” into a song aimed at 3-9 year olds.

      Reply
    • *slow clap*

      Disney’s whole ploy was to get girls to stop reading and watch more Disney films. We don’t give them enough credit for their devious marketing schemes…

      Reply
  3. Absolutely gorgeous rose! My favorite book as a child had all the fairy tales with their rosy endings with large technicolor illustrations all over the pages. I used to take all these themes for granted until I grew up enough to realize what a load of nonsense they were!

    Reply
    • My mum seemed to assume that all fairy tales were suitable for children, so I actually got the really dark, mildly absurdist Grimm versions as well as the sanitised versions, where people dance until their feet bleed and there’s a fair bit of dismemberment. Maybe all my whinging stems from my disappointment at the lack of gore in the Disney versions…

      Reply
  4. Wow, your stained glass rose is seriously impressive! I have a soft spot for all the disney princess movies, but I take issue with Belle, who is always referred to as the “smart” princess, which she is definitely NOT. I mean, this is a girl who, in the course of 3 days, falls in love with a TALKING ANIMAL that imprisons her father and then her, and escapes from and voluntarily returns to her prison. Seriously? Not the brightest light on the tree. 🙂

    I think you’ll appreciate this video!

    Also, what about the two MOST AWESOME Disney princesses?!? Tiana and Merida!!! I vote for two extra posts to include them! 🙂

    Reply
    • True… but the other princesses don’t even seem to know how to read, so Belle is *relatively* smart I guess – but yes, definitely not the brightest.

      That video is hilarious!

      I’ll get around to them someday, perhaps after a little break from my current one-Disney-film-a-week schedule, which is making me Fear for the Children.

      Reply
  5. Actually I think the prince and his servants stopped aging after they were cursed… They only start aging again after the curse has been lifted. Eg. Chip was a child before being turned into a cup, but he is only a very small child (looks under 10), yet they have been cursed for longer. Also I agree with you about the Disney princess stuff. They do lack some independent qualities, but they do have a few good ones as well. Only thing I find creepy is beastality. I once heard ppl wrote novels like that back in the day to make women feel more comfortable about marrying a less attractive and older men, but it does not work lol. I do like Belle as a character though…

    Reply

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